


Leorio Call Your Mom Challenge

by Kugelschreiber (Slang_Jesus)



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Coming Out, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:40:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23047153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slang_Jesus/pseuds/Kugelschreiber
Summary: Leorio is a medical student. As a part of his constant attempts to bypass student housing regulations, he asks Kurapika to marry him. He's about to face something much scarier than proposing - telling his mom.
Relationships: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 14
Kudos: 143





	Leorio Call Your Mom Challenge

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this fic for almost a year and I really only like this chapter so far. Maybe one day I'll post the other chapters.

Leorio was excited about how well everything was coming together. He had come up with contingencies for getting into resident housing if Kurapika had refused, sure, but none of the arguments he could have come up with would have been as air-tight against university housing’s strict policies. And if he was honest with himself, while this process skipped a lot (maybe all) the steps, this is the direction he’s wanted to move with Kurapika for quite some time. 

He got embarrassed when he thought about it too hard, so he pushed thoughts of a shiny, domestic, unattainable future with Kurapika out of his mind to focus on the task at hand - telling his mom.

His phone sat on the counter at his (cramped, crappy, far from the school and the hospital and everything) one bedroom apartment. He had his mother’s contact pulled up and resisted the urge to actively glare at her contact picture. 

Leorio and his mom had always been on good terms. He didn’t call as often as he knew he should, and maybe he’d missed some important family events, but he always came home with flowers for her birthday because he was still at least trying to be a decent son.

He picked up his phone, took a deep breath, and pressed the call button before immediately slumping down into a chair.

It rang.

And rang.

And on the third ring, he heard someone pick up.

“Hello?” his mother’s voice crackled through the line.

“Hey Ma, it’s me.”

“How ya doin’ Leo?” she sounded over-casual, like she already knew something was up. Damn. He could salvage this - act like he’s just calling to catch up. Sons do that to their mothers, right?

Leorio put on his best relaxed, happy, totally-haven’t-been-stressing-about-this-all day voice, “I’m good Ma! Getting ready for summer classes to start up and all that. You know how it goes.”

“That’s nice honey. What’s wrong.”

Well, shit.

He laughed, because really, he should have known better. His mom knew him better than just about anyone else, no matter how long he’d been away from home. 

“Nothing’s wrong Ma, just have a couple things I need to talk to you about.”

Immediately, she grew frantic, “Oh my god, is it med school? Do you need some money? Did you get into a car accident? Oh my god, are you in the hospital??” His mother started to spiral, her voice getting progressively higher pitched.

“Ma relax!” Leorio put his hands out in front of himself, as if he could physically stop her from panicking. Her spirals were never fun. He remembered the time he and his youngest sister had tried to sled down the tallest hill in the neighborhood using just garbage bags. Mom didn’t sleep for a week after, and she made sure Leorio knew about it. Every. Single. Day.

“Med school is going great. Or, as great as med school can. I’m fine on money and I didn’t get into a car accident. Could you relax, please? For like one second??”

His mom went silent for a beat too long. He was about to speak up when she very quietly interrupted, “Is this about a girl?”

Leorio stopped breathing. Of course she would assume it was about a girl. It’s not like he had ever talked about his crushes with his mother. Talking about girls would be one thing, but the mere thought of talking to her about boys was mortifying enough that he felt beads of sweat form at the base of his neck.

He took a deep breath and held it for a second before responding, “Not quite, Ma.”

He quickly tried to fill the silence before being interrupted again, “You know how I hate my apartment and hate driving and don’t want to live so far away? Well, I figured out a solution to this whole issue, but it involves jumping through a lot of hoops, but I have it all laid out, you don’t have to worry about anything, I just wanted to tell you before you heard some other way because I love you and you’re important to me and it’s important that I don’t keep secrets like this from you and-”

“Leo for the love of god!” his mother cried through the crackling connection, “What’s going on?? Did you kill someone?? Are you stealing peoples’ identities or something??”

He let out a pained sigh. Best to get it over with.

“I’m getting married, Ma.”

There was a lot of silence. Too much silence for his talkative, animated mother.

When she spoke again, each word was a slow, but deliberate crawl, “I’m sorry,” she started, “Say that to me again, but seriously this time.”

He felt a little hysterical, “I am serious, Ma. I found a way-” he was cut off again, this time by a tone even more hysterical than his.

“No, I KNOW you aren’t getting married just to con the university out of money. I raised you better than that, Leo.” He could tell she was frustrated because he could hear what he assumed to be the kitchen sink running and dishes being clattered around. She only cleaned when she was angry or needed something to do with her hands, or usually both.

“I’m not conning them out of money!” he argued, “I’m just… leveraging my options and finding loopholes in the system,” he began picking at his nails, a nervous habit he picked up in an attempt to stop marking up his hands from fumbling with his knife. He heard the water running on the other end of the phone.

He sighed when his mother didn’t immediately argue back, “My room and board is covered by scholarships no matter where I live, I just wanted to live somewhere closer, and the place I’m looking at has like a crazy long wait-list that can be completely bypassed if you’re married.”

His mother let out a snort, “Yeah? And what poor sap did you convince to marry you? Because she should know that even if it doesn’t seem real, she still has to get approval from me beforehand. You’re my only son and even if you don’t have high standards for yourself, I have high standards for you.”

She continued her fast-paced babbling for a few more moments, never letting him get a word in edgewise. She complained about Leorio never bringing girlfriends home and how suddenly he thinks it’s okay to just get married without ever bringing this girl around and how she must really be a piece of work and mom wondered what her contribution would be to the relationship…

Leorio wanted to melt into the ground. When he planned out what he would say to his mom, he knew there would be two major hurdles: the fact that he was getting married, and the fact that it was to a man. He just had no idea which one would be more difficult to jump over.

Apparently, the answer was both. Both were impossible, insurmountable, obstacles because his mother was mocking him for his lack of dating prowess, while simultaneously forcing her ideals for his romantic future upon him. All in one conversation. Fantastic.

Finally, there was a break in what had become an extremely one-sided conversation. He gave her a moment to catch her breath, dreading what he was about to say.

“Ma,” his voice cracked a bit on the syllable, but he could tell his mother heard by the little questioning hum she let out.

“Do you remember me telling you about my friends from the Hunter Exam?”

She paused, “Of course I do. The exam was all you talked about the week after you came back.”

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah alright. Well, uh, one of those friends works nearby and he just moved back to town for work, so -”

“Wait,” he could hear something click in her mind, and he froze when she drew out the word again, “Waaaiit… Is this that Kurapika you talked about so much? The blonde one who helped you tie up those guys on the island and ended up being a hunter too?”

Leorio was a bit surprised she remembered his stories from the Hunter Exam, though he supposed that story probably stuck out as one of the more hilarious (and family appropriate) ones. Tying up Tonpa and leaving him on the island was one of his favorite stories from the exam, and Kurapika played a huge part in making that happen.

“Uh yeah,” he scratched the back of his neck as he tried to get rid of the buzzing feeling at the base of his skull, “He’s, uh-” he scrunched his eyes shut and the words rushed out of his mouth, “We’re gonna get married.” 

His mom paused. In her seconds (minutes?) of silence, his mind rushed to conclusions: this was it, finally, the moment his family cast him aside as the official black sheep. Maybe they’d shun him. Maybe he needed to move to a different part of the country entirely. Change his name, shave his head (he would never ever in a million years do such a thing, but it was still a thought). His whole life would fall apart before him, and while he was on the precipice of a never-ending abyss of despair, his mother spoke up.

“Can’t you just ask people out like a normal boy?”

Leorio’s mouth didn’t work.

“Leo?” She sounded mildly concerned. “Leo, you there?”

He shook his head, trying to bring himself back to the present. “Uhhh...”

She huffed, completely ignoring his crisis. “Okay, good. I know you probably don’t wanna talk about it with your mother, but can we please address your technique here? I mean, romance has never been your strong point, let’s be real honey, but honestly if you like this Kurapika - which I totally called by the way, your sister Catarine is on laundry detail for the rest of the month, HA! - you know you can take him to dinner, right? Or just make him something at home? I heard this thing your sister Sorina was talking about, called Netflix and chill? Why not just ask-” 

“MA! What the hell?!” Leorio’s brain finally caught up at his mother saying the words ‘Netflix and chill’. Gross. He’d kill Sorina next time he came home for teaching her that.

“What?!” His mother continued, faux-innocently, “I just think it’s a better technique than jumping straight into a full-blown legally-binding commitment!” her tone remained neutral, as if she were just chastising him for not getting enough sleep or folding his laundry wrong instead of hearing life-changing news from her son.

He cleared his throat, “Y-you’re not… Ma, I…”

His mom chuckled, “You okay there, Leo?”

He felt tears well up in his eyes, but he pushed them back. He needed to have this conversation, needed to know that he was being taken seriously. It might not be a real marriage, but it would be on paper, and he’s bearing a part of his soul to her that he never thought he could share with his family. He’d always told himself he didn’t need anyone’s approval, per se, but having his mother in his corner, having her acceptance, that would mean the world to him.

“You’re taking this a lot better than I thought you would.” he said, plain and simple, keeping his voice surprisingly stable despite the lump in his throat.

She sighed, “Leo, if I could’ve taken a picture of you every time you talked about this boy, I’d make a fortune selling it to the Hallmark channel so they could get a reference for what it means to look enamored with somebody.”

Suddenly, he didn’t care about the Big Life Revelations he was sharing with his mother, he just felt a startling amount of heat rush to his face and had the intense urge to be buried deep in the ground somewhere far away instead of having this conversation about his apparently extremely transparent feelings.

“Ah,” he started, cleared his throat, “That’s… Uh, okay. I just called to let you know. Y’know, cause I’m the best son ever and all that.” he said, his tone completely deflated. Man, he sucked at this. 

There was too much silence. Growing up, he had to raise his voice to ever be heard over the chaos at the dinner table. Even if it was just him and his parents at home, things were usually animated and loud, always, always loud, with his mother being the loudest of them all. This conversation, with its prolonged pauses and thoughtful bouts of silence, felt extremely unnatural from her. He kept picking at his nails.

His mother sighed, then spoke up, “You sure are honey. Best son I’ve ever had. Pick a weekend to bring Kurapika up for dinner,” it wasn’t a request, it was a demand, and he knew it. “Do it before classes kick into full-swing, okay? I don’t want you rushing off to do unfinished homework or anything.” her sing-song tone attempted to say that she was being considerate, but he knew she just wanted to eliminate as many excuses for his speedy escape as possible. He could hear the smugness in her voice.

“I’ll talk to him and let you know,” he slouched, but a small grin still spread across his face. “Will the girls all be there, or will it just be the four of us?”

“You kidding me? Once I tell ‘em, the girls will demand to have reserved seats closest to the two of you at the table,” she chuckled. 

Leorio’s face broke out into a full-on smile. The thought about how his mom would tell his three sisters and the chaos that would immediately be unleashed brought him a stupid amount of joy. Cat would run around trying to clean as much as possible, probably even more than mom would. Rina would have her outfit picked out weeks in advance. Mom might even kill him for the number of questions Nat would inevitably pelt her with in the next few days.

“Oh, that reminds me,” his mother’s words brought him out of his reverie, “you have to tell your father. He might be upset you’re not having a big Catholic ceremony or whatever, but I’ll be there to talk him down if necessary.” 

Leorio flinched at the idea. “Ahh you sure you can’t talk to him about it? Please? For your favorite son?” He pleaded.

“You’re my only son,” she deadpanned, “and his only son, which means the answer is absolutely no.”

“Dammit -”

“Hey!”

“Sorry!”

She snorted.

His mother was kind enough to hand the phone over to her husband, who turned out to be thrilled about the news, mostly because this marriage meant Leorio would have a life outside of medical school. He bristled at the jab at his social life, but was more happy about the kindness from his parents than anything.

“I am happy that you are happy, cucciolo. Make sure you take care of one another.” his father had always been easy with words of encouragement, but the sincerity of the word still left Leorio feeling pleasantly surprised.

Long after he said goodbye and hung up on his parents, he still sat smiling at his phone. A cocktail of emotions twirled in him, but the amount of love and relief that washed over him was overwhelming. His mother’s words about how obvious he had been with his feelings for Kurapika stuck in his head. Who else was able to read between the lines, he wondered. Had he been obvious from the start, or was this something that slowly came on?

He breathed a deep sigh, straightened up, and strolled over to his computer. 

He had work to do. His wedding was in a week.


End file.
